In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
