White coat. Heels.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
