can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
