i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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