I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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