so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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