I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
