she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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