Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
