Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
