I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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