Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
A+ Viking dick
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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