I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
