I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
