New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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