I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
