Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
