it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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