You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
