And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
