she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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