I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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