I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
