Quick, to the slutcave!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
