yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
