Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
