do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
