As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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