I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
