She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
