i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
