I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
