I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
