I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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