No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
