Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
