overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
