If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Boobs speak an international language.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
