Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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