he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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