so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
