Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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