So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
