so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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