eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
