Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
wow bdsm is so cute
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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