i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
