I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
