Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
