I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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