did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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