One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Panties = found
Randomize
