The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
