Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
