Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How external is "for external use only"?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
