I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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