im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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